
i m just a kid and life is a nightmare
Scott “Kid Cudi” Mescudi is bright from abaft a Los Angeles flat animate as his new single, “Frequency,” blasts through the speakers. Both the song’s complete (progressive, adapted rap) and the smile are surprising, advancing from the 32-year-old. Cudi has appear a continued way aback his late-2000s come-up, aback he hit No. 3 on the Billboard Hot 100 with “Day ‘N’ Nite.” In the years following, he breach with coach Kanye West; aboveboard struggled with drugs and depression; appear a alarmingly panned alt-rock album, 2015’s Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven (Republic), his aboriginal to admission beneath the Billboard 200’s top 10; and generally seemed to accent his acting career (his latest role is in Unified Pictures’ Vincent-N-Roxxy, which debuted at the Tribeca Film Festival on April 18) over rapping. But now, beginning off a affection on West’s No. 1 anthology The Life of Pablo and with new music on the way, Cudi is accessible to aces up area he larboard off.
["485"]Here, Cudi talks about accepting accomplished depression, alive on West’s Pablo, and why Man on the Moon 3 -- the aftermost of his admired leash -- isn’t happening.
So you aloof put out “Frequency” and “All In” on SoundCloud. It feels like a beginning booty on your Man on the Moon stuff, which is way altered than your Speedin' Bullet 2 Heaven anthology you aloof dropped.Anytime you do an anthology like [Bullet] and you’re exploring, it’s stressful. I capital to get aback to accepting a little bit added fun. I consistently had the best fun aback I was aloof rapping, because it’s easy. But I’ve appear to acquisition that bodies anticipate I’m absolutely terrible, aback I haven’t rapped in years. They’re so naive. It never absolutely agitated me. But aback I came aback from my quest, I looked about like, “These are the new hot ni--as. This is what y’all anticipate is the best shit? This bits is not that dope.” But area I annoyed some accoutrement was aback I’d accept an abrupt assessment about hip-hop, but I‘d accept a guitar in my hand. I wasn’t alike a allotment of the brand at that moment. I can’t allocution bits while accomplishing bedrock music. That pisses bodies off. So if I’m activity to say bits is fucked up, I accept to accept a solution, which is the music. And I accept a lot of solutions to fix the inauthentic attributes of the business appropriate now. Without me in it, Gotham City suffers.
So no added indie bedrock Kid Cudi?Speedin’ Bullet was my aftermost airing as the dark, black appearance that bodies abode me as. I bare to get that out of me and that was the abandoned way I could do it. I didn’t appetite to appear aback to hip-hop authoritative that blazon of music. We did that already.People say, “Do Man on the Moon 3!” Yeah, I could’ve done that. But it wouldn’t accept been annihilation anyone liked. It would’ve been forced. I’m not in a rush. I accept six major-label albums. Artists don’t get that anymore, abnormally with the awe-inspiring bits that I do. We accept been adored to be in the bold eight years later.
You haven’t done abundant columnist lately.I haven’t talked about music. Bodies anticipate I’ve been quiet because Speedin’ Bullet was a shitshow. But to me that was the best affair to appear aftermost year. Bodies are still talking about it. Some bodies hated it, but they kept talking about it [laughs].
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Andre 3000 afresh said he admired it.I’ve accepted Andre for a while now, and I’ve had the account of aloof actuality able to adhere aback with him and allocution music. I account him so much. Nobody supports me. The newer guys like A$AP Rocky and Travi$ Scott appearance love. But none of the bodies in my bracket accessible their aperture about Kid Cudi. I don’t apperceive why and I don’t accord a f---. It’s affectionate of alarming sometimes.
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You assume abundant happier -- and you’re aback to rapping. What happened?I absolutely came out of that biologic shit. Bodies don’t apperceive how absolute it was. I acclimated drugs to try to fix my depression. It’s funny. Aback I got arrested [in 2010 with cocaine], bodies said I was an addict. But I was never an addict; I was aloof on a ride for a little bit. Playing bedrock was my way of saying, “F--- everyone.” It wasn’t well-received … The aftermost affair I was accouterment to was the world.
How did you get through it?I anticipation about how abundant of a attempt it has been the accomplished eight years, to be in the account and pretend to be adored when, really, I was active a nightmare. But I can go anywhere, whenever I want. My babe is in one of the best clandestine schools in the nation. I accept aggregate I anytime dreamed of in agreement of stability. But I hadn’t been active that reality, because abasement was f---ing me up. So this year I chose to be happy. I aloof woke up.
From an outsider’s angle you accept and had it all. Why did it booty you four albums to amount that out?In the business, everybody is a f------ cartoon. And every already in a while, addition comes in that’s absolutely f------ human. I like to anticipate of myself as one of those artists. I didn’t feel any blitz to fix myself for anyone. If I acquainted like I bare to address four albums of my carelessness to feel alright, afresh so be it. And I knew that whatever I wrote would advice somebody somewhere. So it was bigger accepting it out than to accumulate it bottled up. [Someone ambidextrous with or accepting through depression] is a bulletin kids charge to hear. Some bodies accord with things and it takes them a little longer. Actuality in the accessible eye is tough.
Speedin’ Bullet wasn’t a bartering success. Authoritative it helped you through a boxy time, but does it aching that alike your “true fans” didn’t buy it?I’m thinking, “Man, I’ve done all these albums. Area are the bodies who bought Indicud or the others before? Who accept I been authoritative music for?” [When an anthology doesn’t advertise well] it makes you catechism yourself. As an artist, I’m consistently analytic myself. But this was the aboriginal time that I questioned my fan abject and if I alike accept one at all. Who are these people?
That’s why whatever I do abutting will be free. And I don’t alike feel answerable to do Man on the Moon 3 anymore. As of appropriate now, bodies should aloof get that off their mind. That’s not anytime activity to happen. It’d be altered if the aboriginal two were platinum. They’re not alike platinum! Man on the Moon 1 is like 860,000 sold. It’s blind on by a thread.
That’s activity to be a adamantine bolus to absorb for MOTM fans. But “Frequency” sounds like you’re accepting aback to that vibe, abnormally with the rapping.But I’m advancing aback to do what I love, which is rap. But I’m additionally accomplishing it for the motherf--rs that slept on Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven. That was a project. A administrator isn’t activity to do the aforementioned cine every time. A biographer isn’t activity to address the aforementioned blazon of book. But you guys are acclimated to bits actuality a assertive way and bodies blockage the same. Kids don’t apperceive what a accurate artisan is nowadays until they see a account of Warhol or Basquiat. Afresh they’re like, “Oh, cool. That’s Basquiat!” But you’re over actuality shitting on artists of the now. That confuses me. But it’s not my job to understand. It’s my job to create.
["485"]On Twitter, you’ve fabricated it bright you’re not afflicted by abundant of today’s hip-hop. Why not?I attending about like, “This is what y’all anticipate is the best? This bits is not that dope.” But I’m appealing quiet on my Twitter nowadays. I fabricated a animadversion about mediocrity in music on Twitter, about the time Drake and Future put out [2015’s What a Time to Be Alive]. Bodies were like, “Cudi’s talking shit!” I’m afraid any of y’all anticipate I alike sat bottomward and listened to that shit. (Laughs.) I wasn’t talking about that at all! But if the shoe fits... N---s are so accusable that they apperceive it’s them. I didn’t alike apperceive they had a project. I tweeted that, put my buzz bottomward and absolved away. Abutting time I aces it up, I’m in the news! They say I’m ranting; a bluster agency you care. I don’t affliction like that.
Three years afterwards abrogation G.O.O.D. Music, you’ve been aback alive with West. How has it been?Me and Kanye are brothers. With family, there’s consistently activity to be issues and shit. That was the aboriginal time I had been about him and his aggregation in a while. In adjustment to get aback into the artistic process, we had to talk. I’m not one of those bodies who’s aloof activity to appear about afterwards a while, jump in and accomplish music. We bare to accept a big bro, lil bro convo. As anon as we had that, we were good. Whatever we were ambidextrous with, it was a admirable affair to bright the air about. I’m absolutely adored to be aback alive with my friends.
I’ve been alive abandoned and bodies don’t accept the abracadabra that happens aback me and Kanye are in the room. Lil Wayne and Drake accept 1000 songs with anniversary other. ‘Ye and I accept speckles. Maybe we’ll both be in the aforementioned abode at the aforementioned time and be like, “Let’s do this” and accept 30 songs with anniversary other. But for now, I’m aloof adored to accommodate a hook. The aftermost affair I appetite to do is address a rap for addition else’s song. I’d abundant rather accept a angle and abatement back. And that’s what Kanye wants from me. I sing and Kanye ensures me that it’s dope.
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Did you adore that process? You’re on “Father Stretch My Hands” and “Waves.”I adore creating. The aboriginal song Kanye beatific me is “Waves.” He beatific me that in December. It was altered than it is now. I bethink one night we were all aloof sitting there and I was blatant from a appearance the night afore area I absent my voice. I was in New York alert to the latest edit. Chris Brown was already on it and we were cerebration about how we could accomplish it better. Chris absolutely has this amazing voice. But there were all these ad-libs about it. So I austere out all the added so we could aloof apprehend him. That’s ultimately what you apprehend now. We all bounced account about and came up with this basal version. Already we got that, I hummed on it a little. Kanye had been alive on that anthology for a while. And as you can see, it’s still changing. That song wasn’t alike activity to accomplish it. But I was like, “We accept to do something.” And afresh Chance the Rapper pushed. And Mike Dean and Plain Pat were key players, too.
Just to be clear, Man on the Moon 3 is not coming, ever?Guys, you accept to realize: I came up with Man on the Moon aback I was a adolescent man. Bodies change their vibe! We can chase the aforementioned arrangement and do the five-act split. Sonically, I’m still activity to be area I’m at. Honestly, I was accessible to alive up to the obligation and do Man on the Moon 3. I haven’t been dicking around. I was planning on accomplishing it afterwards Speedin’ Bullet. But the Speedin’ Bullet acknowledgment tore me up. It fabricated me apprehend what’s best important. I’m accepting aback on the bike afresh and accomplishing what I do best: me.
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So there’s no date or timeline for your abutting project? You’ll aloof be cutting new cuts off on SoundCloud?I’ve never been a guy to flood the bazaar with music. And I’m not adage I’m activity to alpha accomplishing that now. But I will be a lot added generous. I’m not adage I’m accomplishing an anthology appropriate now either. People’s expectations go crazy. That’s why I'm aloof throwing songs out there. There’s no burden from me. Aloof delay for it. I’m not in any rush. That’s why I’m accomplishing the bits for free. And for it to be the best bits of the year, it’s aloof a checkmate.
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How are you adequate acting? You’re in Vincent-N-Roxxy with Zoe Kravitz.It's awesome, man. We did that a brace years ago. I haven't apparent it yet. The administrator Gary [Michael Schultz], Zoe [Kravitz] and Emile [Hirsch], they're all absolutely f---in' air-conditioned people. Talented individuals and I've been blessed. We were all on the aforementioned frequency. Alike Emory Cohen. He's a astounding adolescent amateur and such a air-conditioned dude. I'm grateful, man. Aback 2012, I've been in a cine actuality and there every year. Who knew?
And you’re alive on your own scripts, too.I’ve been autograph my own shit. I’m absolutely adored with the draft, but I’m still fine-tuning it. It took a while to get bottomward to a draft, because I didn’t apperceive how to write. But I f--in’ learned. That’s what I acquaint kids. Aloof because you don’t accept the advice doesn’t beggarly you can’t acquisition it. I got Final Abstract 9 and started typing. There aren’t any roles out there for bodies of color. And if there are, they’re not air-conditioned stories. Something's acute me to write. That’s a assurance from God. So I'm afterward that.
What’s in abundance musically for the blow of your 2016?We’re aggravating to boss the year. I’m absolutely fed up about the analytic of my aptitude and agreeable abilities. I’m about to appearance motherf---rs what time it is. I’m not alike at my peak. Bodies anticipate that I’ve peaked. I haven’t alike gotten a f---ing nut off yet. I’ve been pre-cumming for the aftermost eight years. I haven’t alike ejaculated a abounding barf yet. So motherf---rs bigger get prepared.
Everybody that’s out actuality that thinks they’re dope, your crew’s got you gassed. Instagram and Twitter got you gassed. Your brand and favorites got you gassed. I’m about to appearance n---s what’s nice. And afresh I’m retiring. I’ll go off into the dupe and chop copse for blaze on some lumberjack shit. I’ll address balladry and bang it with my daughter. We’ll ride horses. F--- these n---s. I’ll accept no added activity for them. This is it.
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A adaptation of this commodity originally appeared in the April 30 affair of Billboard.
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