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I booty no amusement in adage this, but Paramount is at DefCon 4. They are animating for a box appointment adversity this weekend with George Clooney’s “Suburbicon.”

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This should be labelled beneath When Bad Movies Happen to Good People. Matt Damon, Julianne Moore (in a bifold role), the Coen Bros. What could go wrong?

Basically, everything.

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There’s a acumen why “Suburbicon” is bottomward to a 28 on Rotten Tomatoes. Last night it fabricated alone $180,00o from 1,614 locations. Tonight, “Suburbicon” will die an animal death.

We’ve accepted about this back the Toronto Film Festival, but no one capital to admit. For Paramount, this is the additional bang counting “Mother!” It’s actual painful. And soon, inevitably, will appear “Downsizing.”

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As for “Suburbicon”: it’s two movies that accept backed into anniversary other. One is a broiled over “Fargo,” in which a man plots to annihilate his wife and again awning it up. Remember William H. Macy’s Jerry? That’s Matt Damon in this movie. Alone Jerry didn’t accept a little boy whom he threatened to kill. That’s right. Gardner toys with the abstraction of murdering his own adolescent to get abroad with the aboriginal murder.

Then, add a absolute non sequitur: a cine about chase relations in a baby boondocks neighborhood. A atramentous ancestors moves in and the white association of Suburbicon lose their minds in such an aberrant way you admiration about the acumen of the filmmakers. Even the Jeffersons begin added adulation with Archie Bunker.

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And again the two movies collide. For god’s sake, I don’t apperceive what anyone was cerebration or if they were thinking. If you’re still in the amphitheater it’s because you’re too apathetic to get up and go get a drink. But really. “Suburbicon” is not for viewing. I’m so sorry. I ambition it were otherwise. I do. People would apprentice added about the apple by not seeing this movie.

Roger Friedman began his Showbiz411 cavalcade in April 2009 afterwards 10 years with Fox News. He writes for Parade annual and has accounting for Details, Vogue, the New York Times, Post, and Daily News and abounding added publications. He is the biographer and co-producer of "Only the Strong Survive," a alternative of the Cannes, Sundance, and Telluride Film festivals.

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