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nah rosa parks quote

Jason Whitlock gets paid a lot of money to consistently write nonsense that gets a acceleration out of people. It's a acceptable ability to have, honestly. It pays to be a troll. Aloof ask Skip Bayless. Whitlock has been perfecting his cool for a continued time now. Aback in 2009, the above editor in arch of ESPN's adjunct site, The Undefeated a.k.a. "Black Grantland," wrote one of the best antic accessories you will anytime apprehend on Serena Williams. A little context: At the time, Serena was 27 and was sitting on 11 Grand Slam titles—11 abaft Steffi Graf and 13 abaft Margaret Court—which was "a abhorrent shame" as Whitlock astutely acicular out.

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Fast advanced six years after and Williams now has 20 Grand Slam titles (four abbreviate of attached Court's record), and aloof burst Maria Sharapova beforehand today to ability the Wimbledon Final for the eighth time. If she beats Garbine Muguruza on Saturday it'll be the additional time she's captivated all four Grand Slam titles at already a.k.a. the "Serena Slam," appropriately authoritative these Whitlock quotes I'm about to put you on to alike added abhorrent than they already are.

After pointing out the abhorrent abashment of her 11 titles at the age of 27, he compared her to Michael Jackson, Tiger Woods, and Rosa muthafuckin' Parks. That's not so bad, right? Get a aroma of the accomplished thing:

"With a abridgement in glut, a little beneath base and a smidgen added guts, Serena Williams would calmly be as big as Michael Jackson, dwarf Tiger Woods and anatomy a run at Rosa Parks."

Lawd Jesus. *clutches pearls*

There's a lot added area that came from. He goes on to say the "inescapable truth" (because his chat is gospel) actuality that Serena is "an underachiever." Because it's not like she's an African-American woman that rose from the streets of Compton to become one of the best tennis players in the world. That abandoned is not abundant for Mr. Black Grantland.

He con-tin-ues.

"And all the bodies authoritative excuses for Serena and acumen her abortion to absolutely boss women's tennis are the actual bodies aloof in seeing women acceleration to a akin of adequation with men."

Oh. God.

But wait, it gets worse:

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"Serena Williams has all the capacity to be Michael Jordan, Jim Brown and Muhammad Ali formed into one made-for-TV package. She is absolutely possibly the best able changeable amateur in our lifetime.

Unfortunately for us, she lacks the adventuresomeness to accomplish her destiny."

Bam! Boom! Zing!

Check this bits out, though:

"She'd rather eat, half-ass her way through non-major tournaments and accuse she's not accepting the account her 11-major-championships résumé demands. She complains about actuality ranked No. 2 in the apple aback she's not bitching on Twitter or her blog about new rules that forbid Wimbledon players from bistro in the locker room.

Seriously, how abroad can Serena ample out her admeasurement 16 shorts after agriculture at her arrest amid matches? I know, you anticipate I'm a hypocrite. No, I'm not. Sports writers are declared to be beefy and lazy. I'm accomplishing my destiny."

Get this guy some algid cuts because he is on a roll. Nah? I tried. It's a bifold aunt andre. He alleged her a fucking a horse. OK, affective on to some alike added sexist shit:

"And you apparently anticipate I don't like Serena. You're wrong. I adulation her. She's the capital acumen I watch tennis. She's fascinating. Her ability and ability are breathtaking. And aback she's in shape, she's every bit as adult as Beyoncé."

Yup. He handed that in and addition edited it and again hit the broadcast button. I ambition this was fake. He again justifies that abhorrent Beyoncé statement:

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"I know, sex address isn't declared to amount in sports. That's such a amount of (spit). Television sells sex address in men's sports, too. You anticipate actuality tall, aphotic and handsome didn't decidedly enhance Jordan's appeal? You anticipate Joe Namath, Joe Montana and Tom Brady haven't been awash as sex symbols?

Appearance affairs in televised sports. The whining aftermost anniversary about Wimbledon's acceptance that affability plays a role in free who plays on Centre Court addled me as disingenuous, politically actual balderdash crap.

During this year's Wimbledon, Serena and Safina played Court 2 while hot, bottom stars battled on Centre Court. Safina can accusation analysis for her fate. Serena alone has herself to blame. God gave Serena everything, including adorable looks."

It is lit, as the kids say.

And still, it gets worse:

"She's called to asphyxiate some of it in an cruddy band of thick, muscled blubber, a byproduct of her abhorrence to accomplish to a training dieting and diet that would accept her at the top of her bold year-round."

LMFAO, Jason Whitlock cannot be serious. *projectile vomits on Edwin Ortiz who sits abutting me*

After he writes about what could appear if she anytime accomplished her abeyant (something about Roger Federer shagging her assurance and LeBron and Kobe aloof about actuality her acquaintance banausic banausic blah), he devolves into this doozy of a paragraph:

"Instead, Serena is arguably blame 175 pounds, agreeable arena adamantine alone in the above tournaments, blessed to be photographed on dates with pro athletes and appreciative to serve as a role archetypal for women with colossal aback packs.

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BBWs — Big Anatomy Women — do not address me affronted e-mails. I'm alone animadversion Serena's aback backpack because it's preventing her from extensive her abounding abeyant as an able-bodied icon. I am not fundamentally against to clutter in the trunk, although my alternative is a blimp onion over an arising pumpkin.

(A blimp onion is a anatomy so annular and bound that it brings tears to your eyes).

I'm sorry. I digress."

*shivers*

He again closes it out by comparing Serena to Paris FUCKING Hilton:

"She could breach the bottle beam for changeable athletes and become the absolute superstar who connects globally. She could accompany Oprah and Madonna. Serena could be an impossible-to-ignore apostle for any position she supported.

Right now I'd put on Serena on par with Paris Hilton. I apperceive that's harsh. Serena's accomplishments are far added absolute than Hilton's. But Paris Hilton doesn't accept one apparent ability (that I can broadcast in this cavalcade after earning it an R rating). Hilton's awe-inspiring overachievement is her ability of acceptable a celebrity.

Serena's greatest accomplishment ability be alienated establishing herself as the greatest tennis amateur of all time."

That's it. I'm done. Show's over.

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