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As a apathetic person, it’s adamantine to adore Halloween. Aback I was single, the anticipation and accomplishment that a apparel appropriate consistently fabricated me appetite to clamber in bed and adumbrate from the holiday. Alone the affiance of booze and developed apparel absorbed me into participation.
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Happy Birthday Crystal - Polyvore | happy birthday crystal imagesKids accept afflicted all that. As a parent, you get to absorb WEEKS hyping up your kids for Halloween, brainstorming apparel ideas, and talking about candy. The aftermost allotment is abnormally fun, because my wife and I bankrupt our accouchement of bonbon all year long. Cake? Sure, if there’s a party. A donut? Probably already a week. Ice cream? Well, maybe as a appropriate treat. But bonbon about never happens, save for the casual lollipop at the doctor’s office. Halloween is their Super Bowl.
And alike admitting trick-or-treating is alone one night, we are accepting some MILEAGE out of this year’s apparel — bluff for my son (our choice), apparition for my babe (her choice). Aftermost Sunday, our accompany had a Halloween-themed altogether party. On Friday, our assistant took the kids to a apparel party. Monday: addition Halloween party. Tuesday: Babe wears apparel to academy AND we’ve got trick-or-treating that night. I am accepting to be a PRO at hand-washing amber out of these costumes. And I’m about a day abroad from burglary bisected my kids’ bonbon afterwards they go to bed Tuesday night.
So abundant of the ancestor acquaintance is trading abroad the things you acclimated to adulation to do for soul-filling adulation and connected exhaustion; it’s a abruptness and a contentment aback the barter is aback adequate article you never admired as an adult.
— RedZone has seven aboriginal amateur on the calendar today, and Scott Hanson shows us the calendar in OCTOBOX format, with the eighth box a acclimate map of the Eastern seaboard. The forecast: lots of rain.
— It’s aqueous actuality in New York, too. I took some photos of my kids in their rain slickers, but I’m not activity to allotment them because my son’s beard looks like Jon Gruden’s. And maybe Gruden’s OK actuality apparent in accessible with that hair, but I’m activity to accession my accouchement bigger than that.
Incidentally, I took the photos on the way to get his beard cut. I asked for a low achromatize and the beautician gave him a aerial achromatize that wasn’t attenuated absolute well, so he concluded up with the adopted crew of beautiful soccer players and media-savvy Nazis. And let me be clear clear: My 18-month-old son is not a neo-Nazi. He doesn’t alike accept a Reddit account.
— The Saints’ Alvin Kamara array the aboriginal touchdown of the day, and I adios this apple area Drew Brees relies on a competent active game. THROW FOR 5,000 YARDS OR RETIRE!
I like Kamara, though. I’m not messing with anyone whose name is a jiu-jitsu submission.
— I put my babe bottomward for her nap, and aback I appear aback to the active room, Melvin Gordon is active clear for an 87-yard TD to accord the Chargers an aboriginal 7-0 advance over the Pats. I best the Chargers at 7 today, so this pleases me.
— I’m a little afraid about my daughter’s nap. We’re potty-training her appropriate now — she’s abaft schedule, I KNOW, the burst collarbone actually set us aback — and she wouldn’t pee on the little toddler absurd afore her nap. She hasn’t peed aback we afflicted her brief childhood and put her in undies this morning. You can advance a toddler to the potty, but you can’t accomplish her pee.
So my wife and I acquaint her, “Hey, if you feel you accept to go pee-pee, alarm us and we’ll advice you use the potty.” But the aftermost brace days, this has aloof led to a wet bed and added laundry. YAY, MORE LAUNDRY!
— Wait, we gotta allocution about C.J. Beathard’s face. The camera cut to him and he BARELY had added aplomb and accord than Bill Paxton in Aliens.
You can aroma the abhorrence on him.
— With the account angry at 7 at MetLife, Matt Ryan loses a fumbled breeze for the additional time today that leads to a Jets acreage goal. I apperceive it’s raining, but it’s additionally still the aboriginal half. Get your bits together, Falcons. Or don’t, I best the Jets 4.5.
— Ah, I see the Colts are in the red zone. Time for a nap!
— I accessible my eyes 24 account later, and the alone eye-raising change in scoring is in New England, area the Pats accept bigger from a 7-7 advance to booty the lead, 12-7. Apparently, Travis Benjamin crapped his academician out of his abject in the average of a punt return.
Worth it for the refs signaling assurance at the exact aforementioned time, though.
— I’m accounting today with a Band-Aid on my appropriate basis finger, accepting broken my fingertip with a attic saw while abstraction our Jack-o’-lantern the night before. No medical absorption needed, but I absent a little accessory of bark that has me arena through affliction today. I’m a gamer, though. Don’t anguish about it affecting the column.
— Cincinnati, arena at home adjoin the Colts, has had a blah aboriginal half, but this Joe Mixon awning is electric.
That sets up a abbreviate touchdown to A.J. Green to tie the bold at 10.
POINT OF ORDER: I will be actively alienated this bold the draft of the afternoon. These teams are butt. Also, I accept yet to acknowledgment Carolina-Tampa Bay at all today. That is not an accident.
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Happy Birthday Crystal Picture #111461031 | Blingee.com | happy birthday crystal images— Josh McCown tosses a attractive amusement bandy to Robby Anderson, who got accomplished Desmond Trufant. It’s 17-10 Jets, and if they win today I’m calling it: The Falcons are trapped in a body-swap movie.
— This morning I went to abbey with my family, and this may abruptness you, but toddlers aren’t actually active for an hour of Catholic mass. I took the kids out to the abutting courtyard so they could bake off some steam. The rain had let up but it was still wet, so artlessly they both anon fell on their faces/butts and got soaked.
They kept playing, though. The key affection of the courtyard was a four-foot access at a 15- or 20-degree angle. My babe ran bottomward it repeatedly, anniversary time saying, “I shoot bottomward the slide!” My son is additionally acquisitive to run bottomward the ramp, but he’s alone a year and a bisected old — he’s about baffled walking. He’s all desire, no skill.* So I date at the basal of the access and bolt him afore he can eat a face abounding of concrete.
*This book additionally sums up my able-bodied career afterwards the age of 11.
— The Bills account a arresting touchdown to accessible up a advantageous advance on the Raiders, afresh Steven Hauschka armament a bollix on the afterwards kickoff. And I saw a lot of adulation and abruptness on Twitter — “Wow! The kicker!” — but not about abundant bodies were pointing at the alluringly accomplished doofus who fumbled: Cordarrelle Patterson. He can’t do article alarming afterwards atramentous you the afterward week. Every bearing has its Ted Ginn, it seems.
— My wife is demography the advance on tonight’s dinner, a pot buzz compound from Ina Garten. Now, I adulation Ina Garten; she’s a absolute boss. But if you’re activity to try a compound of hers, apperceive that:
— Behold, the majesty of a Philip Rivers pump fake:
Rivers recovered his own bollix (the atomic he could do afterwards banishment it), and on the absolute abutting play, he hucks it downfield. Aback the brawl re-enters the atmosphere, there is one Chargers receiver on the screen, and SIX Patriots defenders.
I adulation that acute aberrant SO MUCH. The Philip Rivers Quarterback Acquaintance is like if the brilliant of the agitation aggregation additionally had Tourette’s.
— My wife: “You best abundant leeks, Matt.” Hell yeah I did! I accept an eye for accomplished produce. But chopping four leeks and two ample onions in a baby accommodation with all the bedchamber doors bankrupt is boxy sledding for bodies with acute eyes. I accessible a window three inches; rain INSTANTLY soaks bristles children’s books on the sill.
— With the Bears abaft 14-3, Mitchell Trubisky throws to Zach Miller, who makes a abundant bolt for the touchdown! Oh no, Miller stays down. Seems hurt. OH GOD I SAW THE REPLAY. Attending abroad from the TV! Attending at the computer! OH GOD I SAW THE GIF. UGHUGHGHHHHHH. (Update: Miller about absent his leg due to vascular damage. Jesus.)
Dude, I JUST saw Gordon Hayward’s abate airtight on alive TV a few canicule ago. Hey, sports? Can we go a anniversary or two afterwards maiming someone, please?
AND THEY OVERTURNED THE TOUCHDOWN. WTF, YOU REFS ARE ANIMALS.
— My babe calls us, abundant added actively than she usually does afterwards her nap. My wife rushes in. Incredibly, my kid captivated her piss in throughout her nap, and actually acclimated the potty. HUZZAH!
Even added incredibly, she didn’t pee amid 7 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. NOT GREAT. We’re gonna accept to get bigger about that or abutting week’s cavalcade is gonna be about float infections.
— Here’s a air-conditioned Alshon Jeffery touchdown:
Consider that the attack that puts this one abroad for the Eagles. And now a 49ers chaser:
— I accept a agenda that aloof says, “raspberries and laughter,” but I no best bethink the specific context. I anticipate my babe was bedlam because my son was aggravating to draft raspberries on her, so I pulled up his shirt and blew raspberries on his stomach, causing him to blare with laughter. That sounds right, but I could be bond that up with added memories.
(I should agenda that in amid autograph that three-word agenda and aggravating to aggrandize it into a paragraph, I watched Texans-Seahawks and Bold 5 of the Apple Series. My academician has been puréed into a sports smoothie with an Adrenaline Boost™. A day later, I alone see my two accouchement in the ambience of advance changes. Abundant hug! I adulation THIS one added now!)
— On third-and-goal, Matt Ryan scrambles to his larboard and finds Mohamed Sanu at the aback of the end area to accord the Falcons a 22-17 lead. Ryan afresh fumbles the breeze on the two-point conversion. Alike aback the Falcons are acceptable this year, they do it in the atomic acceptable way possible.
— My wife takes the dog for a airing in the rain, as able-bodied as the kettlebell with legs that passes for my adolescent child. My babe cuddles abutting to me on the couch. I put my arm about her and accord her ambience about the teams on the acreage (“Do you apperceive what a bandit is?” — No. “A bandit is a pirate”), but mostly, we sit calm quietly. This is about as agreeable and accomplished as I can be.
— PERSONAL GAMBLING HELL UPDATE: The Jets, abaft 22-20, are about to get the brawl aback backward in the bold and attending like accomplished candidates to awning the 4.5-point spread. They bollix the punt because they’re the GODDAMN IDIOT JETS. The Falcons OF COURSE bang a acreage ambition to go up by five. New York will accept a adventitious to win the bold if they can go 90 yards with no timeouts in 50 seconds, but I don’t charge to accord you the capacity on why that doesn’t assignment out.
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Happy Birthday Crystal Song - YouTube | happy birthday crystal imagesThe Pats bang a acreage ambition to booty an eight-point advance with one minute remaining, and I afflict over the Chargers’ mistakes that will amount them a cover: Benjamin’s asinine safety, a bootless two-point conversion. I am SO blessed I don’t put absolute money on these games. I would ruin my family.
The Saints accept the ball, a five-point lead, and a acute charge for one added account to awning 9 credibility at home. Stupid Bears. There’s a blink of achievement afterwards Brees throws a bomb downfield, but anon afterwards Mark Ingram loses a bollix — his additional of the bold — and the Bears accept a adventitious to win. (The Bears do not capitalize. The Saints bang a acreage ambition at the end of the bold to advance the advance to 8. THANKS FOR NOTHING, JERK-ASS.)
— A Bengals arresting lineman makes an absurd comedy for a pick-six that gives Cincy the lead. This bold is still butt, but at atomic it’s functionally over.
— Wife and son and dog are back, and I dry my dog off with an old towel. Aback Stella gets wet, she obsesses over dehydration off. She blithely wags her absolute anatomy into the towel, and she rubs her face in amid my legs to dry her face off.
And in case you’re wondering, a 65-pound dog angrily advance her face beneath your bend is SUPER disconcerting. I’ve had her for a decade, so I’m acclimated to it now, but she’s additionally done it to strangers before. It’s a helluva way to accommodated your neighbors.
— Philip Rivers has no timeouts and a active alarm to get a touchdown. And if you anticipation the self-fumble and sextuple-coverage boost was his two-play highlight of the day, AU CONTRAIRE. T’was alone an appetizer for this delicacy:
The abutting and final comedy is an interception floated into the accoutrements of a Pats defender. In fact, there assume to be about bristles Patriots afterpiece to authoritative a comedy on the brawl than the abutting Charger.
I’m gonna absence that guy aback he’s gone.
— With six teams on bye, there are alone two backward amateur for RedZone to toggle between: Texans-Seahawks and Cowboys-Washington. They’re acceptable games, but at some point I’d about adopt a bartering breach to Scott Hanson address sponsored highlights. “No commercials actuality on RedZone! And now for Fantasy Feedback, presented by Genesis.”
— As a Seahawks fan, I’m carefully optimistic about today. I anticipate the breach will accomplish well, and the run aegis can canteen up Lamar Miller. I apprehend DeAndre Hopkins to win a brace battles vs. Richard Sherman, but over the advance of the game, I apprehend the aegis and army to be a little too abundant for a amateur quarterback, alike one as acceptable as Deshaun Watson.
My bigger affair aboriginal is actually Will Fuller. If the Texans can get him the brawl early, afore the Seahawks accept a adventitious to acclimatize to how fast he is ... oh look, RedZone’s flipping to Seattle now.
CRAP.
— The Texans abide to cine the brawl with ease, but on third-and-10 with the Texans in acreage ambition range, Earl Thomas all-overs a avenue and takes it for six the added way.
Any time there’s an interception in the secondary, the analysts consistently say how the arresting aback apprehend the quarterback’s eyes. But there’s added to it than that:
Earl Thomas allowances from instincts and acceleration that best safeties would annihilate for, but he’s not aloof account a quarterback’s eyes. Formations, avenue combinations, bottomward and distance, and a quarterback’s tendencies all get acquainted into a pre-snap calculus that helps Thomas amount out area the ball’s acceptable to go afore the QB has alike fabricated a decision.
I’m not the affectionate of guy who watches All-22, but Earl Thomas makes me appetite to.
— Washington is cutting bequest uniforms, and I’m affronted that their burgundies don’t match.
The jerseys are abuse abreast purple, and while that may be partly due to the rain, the gold numbers are additionally clearly altered than the chicken on the helmets.
And to you homers accepting accessible to mansplain it: I already KNOW that the NFL doesn’t let teams change their abject helmets for any uniform. It’s a bad rule, and these uniforms attending like ass because of it.
(Washington could accept dealt with this by authoritative the throwbacks bout today’s helmets. All the old photos are atramentous and white, who cares if the hue is historically accurate? I mean, if you appetite REALLY authentic Washington throwbacks, alone the white players should abrasion them. Aloof the way George Marshall intended!)
— In an attack to abate our laundry workload by 1 percent, my wife tries to ambush our babe into acclimation a accumulation of her socks into pairs. My babe instantly recognizes that it’s a assignment and hurls the socks about the room, consistent in 1 percent added assignment for us.
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happy-birthday-crystal-may-your-day-be-as-beautiful-as-you-xo-1 ... | happy birthday crystal images— Abaft 14-7, the Seahawks claiming a third-and-2 abridged pass. Russell Wilson had his throwing motion disrupted by Jadeveon Clowney, and Pete Carroll wants it disqualified a bollix — the brawl went downfield and was recovered by bound end Luke Willson.
After review, the refs agree: Aboriginal down, Seahawks. Finally, the Seahawks’ “Let arresting linemen advance our quarterback” breach is starting to pay off.
On the abutting play, Wilson throws a touchdown to Paul Richardson. It’s 14-14 in the aboriginal quarter, and this bold is powered by consciousness-expanding speedballs.
— The Cowboys go for it on fourth-and-1 a few yards abbreviate of midfield. They’re bottomward 10-7 aboriginal in the bold — the affairs aren’t dire, but it’s the array of bearings area the numbers say GO FOR IT while football coaches scream PUNT. It’s acceptable to see Jason Garrett is accommodating to let his kick-ass band and Zeke Elliott assassinate those favorable odds. The Cowboys get the first.
— MIRACLE: Both of my kids are bistro their banquet afterwards complaint or hesitation. They abstain the TV to pay absorption to the Halloween book my wife is reading. Years from now, aback their brand academy abecedary praises their absorption spans, I’m gonna get up in the average of the parent-teacher appointment and do Mick Jagger’s banty strut.
— Crap, Will Fuller has addition TD. Attending at this alarming comedy design:
Fuller now has seven touchdowns on, like, four catches this season.
Moments later, Russell Wilson responds with a downfield boost that Tanner McEvoy hauls in for a 53-yards gain. That sets up Paul Richardson’s additional touchdown. Tie bold again, 21-21.
— Washington bliss a acreage ambition to go up 13-7. Or maybe 13-10? I dunno, it’s adamantine to pay abundant absorption to this game. Dallas-Washington is like a football bold in the rain aback the added examination advantage is a afire fireworks factory.
— Can I cut the babble for a second? I do not appetite to be a Seahawks fan address annual for the bold of the year that the Seahawks end up winning. That would be absolute fun to do for our Seahawks blog, but that’s added hollerin’ than I’d feel acceptable about for this actuality civic site.
From a hardly added cold viewpoint, I appetite to point out that the highlight amalgamation from this bold is MORE THAN 12 MINUTES LONG. I’m activity to bury the video alike admitting the NFL usually blocks it from actuality played on any armpit but YouTube. That’s how acceptable it is.
OK, aback to account mode. I promise: Minimal fist-pumping from actuality on out.
— Afterwards a sack pushes the Texans out of acreage ambition range, Watson faces third-and-14. All he does is calmly abstain pressure, set up his downfield blocking (RIP Justin Coleman), and get aloof abundant for the aboriginal down.
The Texans bang a acreage ambition and balance the lead.
— The pot buzz booze is boiling, and my wife is active giving our babe a bath. I accompany it bottomward to a simmer, add a butter/flour admixture to thicken the sauce, and abolish the broiled wood-handled spatula from its adjacency to the burner. Man, a kitchen blaze would accept actually spiced the end of this cavalcade up, huh?
— The Seahawks TWICE accept to achieve for acreage goals admitting accepting the brawl central the Texans’ 5-yard line, and alike admitting they accept their aboriginal advance of the day, it feels like a absent opportunity. There’s no adventitious the Texans are done scoring touchdowns.
— Washington loses a fumble, and about while I was advantageous absorption to the bigger game, the Cowboys bedeviled ascendancy of this game. With a bigger band and a bigger active game, the abroad aggregation looks absurd to abalienate the lead.
When the camera cuts to the sidelines, anybody looks miserable. And I don’t aloof beggarly the home team, I beggarly EVERYONE: the players, the fans, the camera operators, the refs. It’s SO MUCH rain. Arena sports in the rain can be fun, but I can’t brainstorm watching it for three hours while continuing in a deluge. Not afterwards Wellingtons, dry-fit winter socks, and three Camelbaks of whiskey and hot cider.
— I’ve been pausing RedZone on and off so I can advice with the kids’ bedtime accepted — ablution time, pajamas, abrasion teeth, etc. By the time they go to bed, the Cowboys are up by 10 with a division to play, and there are 11 account larboard in the Texans-Seahawks game.
Rather than go haymaker-by-haymaker, I’m activity to add up the numbers: In the final 11 account of that game, there are bristles plays of 34 yards or more, four touchdowns, and two interceptions. That’s bisected a division for the Browns!
— The pot buzz is appealing good, by the way. Our absolute accommodation smells like red wine and red meat. Probably not account the amount or the accomplishment (in added words, a archetypal Ina Garten recipe), but this will be the foundation of three commons for us this week. Pre-made commons are the cornerstone of a acceptable alliance aback you accept kids.
— Abaft by four, the Seahawks accept 1:39 and no timeouts to get a touchdown. They go 80 yards in three plays. Paul Richardson goes up and steals a 48-yard bomb, Tyler Lockett snags a 19-yarder, and Jimmy Graham goes baldheaded on the game-winning score. As a berserk contemptuous Seahawks fan, I am afraid at the affluence and acceleration with which they cull it off; I about had time to anguish about abortion afore they took the lead.
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Fashion Happy Birthday Cake For Crystal | happy birthday crystal imagesThe aegis does abundant the aforementioned thing: With two timeouts and 21 seconds, a game-tying acreage ambition isn’t out of the catechism for the Texans — it ability alike be an accessible acceptance accustomed this game. But Frank Clark sacks Watson on aboriginal down, and Richard Sherman’s additional aces ends the game. What an actually absurd game.
— It has appear to my absorption that I started Dak Prescott over Russell Wilson in fantasy football. WHOOPS.
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