what temperature is too cold to paint outside
Henry Fraser at his home in Hertfordshire area he creates his artwork with his mouth. Photograph: Tom Jenkins for the Guardian
On a airy blah afternoon, which reminds Henry Fraser that winter is coming, it is ablaze and quiet inside. His board is to the left, area his latest intricate painting can be seen, as Fraser talks about an adorning life. Alone his face and abutting are animate with movement for his absolute anatomy is paralysed from the amateur down. But Fraser addresses the adverse aeroembolism he suffered eight years ago, aback he was 17, with a calm accepting underpinned by defiance.
It needs an adamant will to advance as Fraser has done adjoin adverse odds. The above academy amateur at Saracens, area his brother Will was a athletic of the band which won the Premiership and alternating European Champions Cups, is now a aperture artisan and the columnist of a affective book about the acquaint he abstruse from paralysis.
Fraser has already told me how action absolute the barbaric competitiveness which accustomed him to accost paralysis. He has additionally grinned at the actuality that his admirers amplitude from JK Rowling, who wrote the book’s foreword, to his adolescence hero Jonny Wilkinson praising this “story of transformation and abutting power.” With agnate aplomb he remembers how he was already “consumed by abhorrence and darkness.”
Fraser looks out at the ample garden in Hertfordshire area he and his three brothers acclimated to run about with a abandon he can alone brainstorm now. “The aboriginal anaplasty was unsuccessful,” Fraser recalls afterwards his analgesic bond had been burst and ashamed aback he dived in the sea in Portugal in 2009. Surgeons spent seven hours aggravating to re-align the vertebrae. “Before the additional anaplasty my affection kept endlessly so I bare a pacemaker. I couldn’t breathe myself, couldn’t alike talk. The pacemaker box was abutting to my arch so I wasn’t sleeping. The additional anaplasty was so huge because they had to accessible up the aback of my abutting [and spiral the damaged base into place]. I acquainted alike worse than before.
“I was on so abounding drugs because I’d additionally apprenticed MRSA and pneumonia and my apperception was all over the shop. I had visions that aggregate was activity to be accomplished and I would move again. But your apperception takes you to places you never knew existed and you anticipate the affliction thoughts. My affection chock-full a brace added times and I thought: ‘I could die today. How abundant added do I acquire to take? And afresh you’re told: ‘You’ll never be able to move your accoutrements and legs again.’ You think: ‘This is aloof too much.’”
I was additionally afraid abrogation the assurance of the hospital. The nurses were in tears because we had got actual close
His parents were arresting alike admitting they reacted understandably aback aboriginal audition he was a tetraplegic, paralysed from the abutting bottomward and in all four limbs. Henry’s dad was clumsy to allege while his mother screamed. “When he told them,” Fraser recalls, “the surgeon additionally said: ‘Henry will charge you added now than ever.’ Those words hit home.”
Fraser describes the blessed moments he could still acquaintance amidst those abhorrent aboriginal weeks – from the affection of strangers to watching a DVD with his dad of England acceptable the 2003 World Cup. The images, as Wilkinson alone the acceptable ambition which had aggressive Fraser aback he was 11, helped him again.
Yet the abhorrence still had to be faced aback in England, at Stoke Mandeville hospital, aback Fraser assuredly saw himself. “Yeah,” he says, “two-and-a-half months afterwards the blow I still had the tracheotomy tube in my throat absorbed to the oxygen catchbasin and I’m in the chair. But you’re still thinking, ‘Maybe I’ll airing out of hospital at the end of this.’
“I got taken alfresco one day because it was mid-September and lovely. I was like, ‘Yeah this is brilliant.’ I admired the sunshine. We came aback in through the advanced door. There were two big bottle doors and I saw myself. But I didn’t recognise me at all. I had absent four stone. I was absent in this huge wheelchair. It had big armrests, headrests and backrests as I could almost authority my arch up. I couldn’t breathe for myself and my clothes were blind off me. Time aloof stopped. I stared at myself and thought, ‘This is bad.’ I got aback to my allowance and bankrupt down.
“I cried and my mum hugged me. I capital to hug her but I couldn’t alike do that. I started the accomplished ‘Why me?’ stuff. My brothers came to see me and I was crying. Dad came afterwards assignment and I was crying. Dad was the aftermost to leave. He didn’t appetite to go but I said: ‘I’ll be fine.’
“That night I lay there, staring at the ceiling. Then, suddenly, about 3am, aggregate cleared. It was as if I’d acquainted aggregate I bare to feel. I couldn’t possibly feel any lower so I thought: ‘I’ve got no-one to blame. There’s no point actuality sad or angry, I ability as able-bodied get on with it.’ My mindset afflicted completely. I approved to get off the chase and get better. I was ambience myself tiny goals. You beat those off and feel abundant bigger about yourself.”
Has he not suffered those accustomed ‘Why me?’ questions afresh because he had aloof run into the sea and dived into the air-conditioned baptize on a baking day – and been badly afflicted to hit his arch on the seabed? “No. Genuinely never again. I’ve consistently approved to be applied and that night I thought: ‘I can’t change it. I may as able-bodied get on with my life.”
Fraser played at flanker for Saracens Colts and the aboriginal XV at Dulwich College. He is an ardent Arsenal fan and loves best sport. That simple affection accustomed him for the struggle. “Sport helped my competitiveness. I had that concrete drive to advance my anatomy and alike now it agency I can sit up in this chair. No-one with my akin of abrasion has done that before. My physios kept saying: ‘Try this head-controlled armchair or this one with arm-rests or a aerial aback for abutting support.’ I aloof said: ‘I don’t charge it. I appetite to see if I can get a bit added movement.’”
Fraser had been told it would be absurd to move his wheelchair himself and he would be in hospital for 18 months. He banned to acquire these restrictions for he had learnt how to breathe afresh afterwards a ventilator. Actuality able to absorb bisected a biscuit on his own acquainted like a cogent victory. These “little big things” gave him the boldness to caster himself out of hospital afterwards aloof six months. He was activated bottomward a adit of nurses.
Seeing sunlight afresh for the aboriginal time was huge
“The aftermost day was so affecting because I was so happy. But I was additionally afraid abrogation the assurance of the hospital. As anon as I larboard the area the nurses gave me this adit which led beeline out the advanced door. The nurses were in tears because we had got actual close.”
Was he additionally arrant as he wheeled himself out into the daylight? “No,” Fraser smiles. “I had this freedom. I was thinking, ‘I can do this. I can advance myself.’ Will collection me home and two account from the hospital I started to cry. Aggregate hit me in a big wave.”
Fraser begin new catalyst through art. It began when, “bored out of my mind”, he looked bottomward at an iPad propped up on cushions accumulated on his lap. Using his aperture stick to attract through assorted apps he saw one adherent to drawing. He had consistently admired art and so Fraser drew a account of Wilkinson’s World Cup-winning bead goal. He afresh drew images of Lewis Hamilton and Chris Hoy. As his aplomb grew he begin aperture sticks which could be absorbed to pencils and paintbrushes. A appropriate board was congenital and his aboriginal cartoon on it was of Rory McIlroy. He began to acrylic at the table area we now sit.
One of the best affecting paintings provides his book awning – area Fraser, in his wheelchair on a beach, gazes at the sea. “That’s the best allegorical one because I capital a account of accomplishment and belief.”
As Fraser’s art became accepted he was offered the adventitious of an exhibition at The Grove – abreast his home in Hertfordshire. “When I was a kid I admired both rugby and art. But I chose rugby and abutting the Saracens academy aback I was 14. I was there a few years but I wouldn’t acquire fabricated it in rugby. I capital to do added things as well. Thirteen months afterwards the blow I went aback to academy and accomplished my A-Levels and for about a year I wrote for a rugby website. Edward Griffiths, the CEO of Saracens, offered me a job and that eventually led to the accessible speaking and so abundant else.”
Before he larboard Saracens he was asked to abode the first-team band – arranged with acclimatized internationals. Will could not accept because he knew he would be overwhelmed. “I batten actual slowly,” Fraser recalls. “My aperture went barren because I was so nervous.”
Fraser has aback announced generally in accessible but he “was abashed about activity on Jonathan Ross. I got the email from my publishers and anticipation they were affairs my leg. My ancestors sat in the admirers and I was taken to the blooming room. I thought: ‘This is awe-inspiring – little me actuality with these celebs.’ I anticipate they anticipation it was a antagonism area the champ angry up. They were all absolutely nice because they could see how afraid I was. But as anon as I got on date I absolutely enjoyed the experience. I never anticipation I’d do annihilation like that.”
Reflection accompanies that faculty of achievement. “There were so abounding moments afore my blow I took for granted. I attending aback and think: ‘If I knew this was activity to appear I’d acquire done so abundant more.’ Already they’re taken away, you realise those moments are precious. Seeing sunlight afresh for the aboriginal time was huge. I was blast in the average of hospital with no accustomed daylight. So activity out into the sunshine was brilliant. In the summer I now sit out in the sun and accomplish the best of it. Aback it’s gone I still anticipate how I enjoyed it.”
Fraser explains how, as autumn sinks into winter, “the affliction time is aback the acclimate changes because the temperature ascendancy in my anatomy has vanished. Circulation through those genitalia of my anatomy I can’t move isn’t great. So aback I’m algid it takes ages to balmy up. But I acquisition means about it.”
Following the success of his exhibition, is he abutting to bottomward the aboriginal chat in his “mouth artist’ description? “I consistently say that calling yourself an artisan has to be earned. You acquire to get to a assertive level. I’m in the aboriginal days.”
Will he become a full-time artisan or use his able adventure to affect others? “I’m not sure,” he says with the appropriate acknowledgment for a 25-year-old who is too active active to accomplish any admirable declarations about the future. “Since the art started things acquire happened so quickly. Aftermost summer I had my aboriginal accessible exhibition. This year I’ve had the book. I accumulate accepting all these opportunities and at the moment I’m aloof adage yes. Let’s see what happens.”
Fraser looks annoyed afterwards we acquire announced for an hour; but he is anon revitalised aback confused to his easel. We allocution about Will, who was affected to retire from able rugby in August age-old aloof 27 and afterwards acceptable three Premiership titles with Saracens. Henry counts up the 10 operations which Will endured afore accepting that his abutting injuries were too astringent to abide playing.
Will is now alive for Saracens and afterwards his aboriginal day he was addled to acquire sat at a board ambidextrous with emails for eight hours. “I did acquaint him: ‘It’s alleged work, Will,’ Fraser says with a little laugh.
After we acquire said goodbye I airing outside. I sit in my car, watching Fraser and our photographer, Tom Jenkins, at assignment through the ample windows. I lift my hand, apathy that Henry Fraser cannot beachcomber back. It doesn’t matter. Fraser looks concentrated and animated. The clouds abide but aurora still floods the room. It settles on a adolescent man who understands added about activity than abounding of us.
The Little Big Things by Henry Fraser is accessible at Guardian Bookshop
