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I adulation Halloween. It’s hands-down my admired holiday. For the aftermost few years, I’ve gotten into the addiction of accepting into the chilling spirit able-bodied in advance. Like, two months ahead. I do this because I feel like Halloween consistently comes and goes so quickly, afore I can absolutely acknowledge the holiday. Like those who delay for Christmas year-round, I anxiously ahead Halloween’s accession with an accessible affection and stomach, accessible for clutter aliment and added applesauce I assets alone for October months.
However, for addition who loves Halloween as abundant as I do, it’s hasty how little accomplishment I’ve put into my costumes. Every year it’s the aforementioned song and dance: I consistently say I’m activity to go all out for a costume, that I’ll absolutely put in the time and activity to draft anybody abroad with a phenomenally aboriginal ensemble. Yes, this year is activity to be different, I told myself as I do every year.
And again, like the year before, that didn’t happen. And I’m now affected to appear up with article brief that I put calm the night before.
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It doesn’t advice that it took me and my admirer weeks to amount out what we capital to go as. Aftermost year, we both dressed up individually, with no affiliation amidst our garbs. That’s why I was so determined that we’d accept a aggregate apparel that was altogether paired. But in chief what our apparel should be, I remembered why we didn’t alike aftermost year: We accept altered aftertaste in aloof about aggregate — music, movies, style, amidst abounding added things. So aggregate I appropriate (which was mostly apparel based on my admired operas), he vetoed. And carnality versa. Eventually, afterwards weeks of back-and-forth banter, we fabricated the controlling decision: We’re activity as Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love.
We fabricated the accommodation Saturday. That gave us two canicule to plan and acquirement our costumes.
We committed Sunday morning to apparel shopping. As a big Nirvana and Hole fan, and by proxy an alike bigger Kurt and Courtney fan, I knew this was article that wouldn’t crave abundant work, but would still amuse my charge to not accommodation my taste. I knew absolutely what would assignment and what wouldn’t. And I, for one, already abrasion agnate accouterment to what Cobain wore in his prime: colossal t-shirts, adapted jeans, afflicted sneakers, decrepit hair. All I bare was a brace of big red sunglasses and a albino wig. How adamantine could that be?
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Apparently, very. As Matthew and I wandered bottomward Hollywood Boulevard, amidst the deluge of pop-up Halloween food and wig shops, my ambition was to acquisition the absolute Kurt Cobain wig. The sunglasses were a affluence item, article I’d be abashed to acquisition in any abundance I wandered into. But the wig was a necessity. And I begin it! At Hollywood Wigs on Hollywood Boulevard. I asked for the amount and was told it was $80.
Never mind.
We kept looking. Eventually, I could feel what acquainted like hours of analytic cutting bottomward my body. But again I arrested my watch and accomplished we’d alone been attractive for about 30 minutes. Meanwhile, Matthew had already begin the items to absolute his ensemble. I, however, still trudged my anxiety as if walking through molasses to acquisition any affinity of Kurt Cobain. But in aggravating to acquisition a allotment for my costume, I accomplished that the acumen award a apparel is so adamantine for me is that I don’t like bathrobe up. And maybe that’s why I could never accomplish it as a performer: I didn’t like alteration who I was.
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I’m agreeable with who I am, and bathrobe up like addition abroad makes me feel as if I’m aggravating too hard, or as if I’m accoutrement up my imperfections. And for that matter, Cobain would apparently abhorrence the actuality that bodies were bathrobe up as him for this holiday. In fact, I’m apparently accomplishing a disservice to his ancestry by advantageous admiration to him in such a absurd manner. So I absitively the beneath assignment I put into it, the added I’d bottle his legacy.
I’ll aloof accumulate cogent myself that.
In the end, I bought a mop arch which I plan to array over my hair. It makes me attending like Raggedy Andy, but somehow I anticipate it’s the best applicable and authentic assuming of Cobain. In turn, I acclaim Matthew for activity as Courtney Love. It wasn’t a adamantine accommodation to adjudge who was activity as whom; it was appealing abundant absitively that I would go as Cobain and he as Love. When Matthew best out the atramentous mini dress, disheveled albino wig and red lipstick that Adulation fabricated her signature, I knew there’d be no way I could audacious him, which seems adumbrative of Cobain and Love’s accord in general.
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Even admitting some may catechism whether or not I put any accomplishment into my costume, I feel agreeable in my accommodation to downplay the accent of bathrobe up. I don’t anticipate it’s a average feel to others who put time and accomplishment into the absolute accoutrement — but it isn’t a thumbs up either. Maybe this will be the alpha of my new Halloween tradition: not giving a f-ck.
Arya Roshanian is a “senior” majoring in music. His column, “From The Top,” runs Tuesdays.
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