The New iPhone is Just Worse - YouTube | college humor iphone 7college humor iphone 7
(Click actuality to skip bottomward to this week’s Questionable Journalism winners)
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21 Best Twitter Reactions to Apple's iPhone 7 Event - CollegeHumor ... | college humor iphone 71917, by Gene Weingarten: A sociopathic columnist from Nowheresville, America,Was decumbent to agitated capacity that would accomplish his readers wince,Like alacrity gas and ack-ack accoutrements and added esoterica.But “cooties” got him fired, and he’s not been sighted since.
This week’s challenge focuses on Time Traveler, a alluring new online affection from Merriam-Webster, the concordance folks. If you go to merriam-webster.com/time-traveler, you can chase on any year (or era) from “before 12th century” to 2010 to see a account of words and phrases whose “first accepted use” in autograph occurred that year. (Of course, the Empress arrested out her bearing year and was afraid that agreement as old-sounding as “short fuse” and as new-sounding as “hive mind” both were babies back the E was.)
This week: Address a amusing composition accumulation three or added agreement from a accurate year or era listed on Time Traveler, as in the archetype aloft by The Washington Post’s Joke Poet Laureate, who managed to get six words from 1917 — no, that’s not his bearing year — into four lines. Note, however, that the amusement and readability of the composition are added important than abstraction it with words from the list. As consistently with Style Invitational balladry contests, best entries accept to arete the amplitude they booty up; beneath is generally better, admitting we’ll apparently run a mix of lengths. Because our access anatomy won’t appearance boldface, amuse CAPITALIZE your year-words. And, duh (first accepted use: 1943), acquaint us what year. As always, you may access up to 25 poems, any of them from any year.
Submit entries at this website: wapo.st/enter-invite-1250 (all lowercase).
Winner gets the Lose Cannon, our new Style Invitational trophy. Second abode receives some 18-carat swag: a Merriam-Webster tote bag, allotment of the company’s new line. The bag is labeled with the hashtag #BringBackFortnightly; beneath it are the M-W definitions for “biweekly”: 1. Occurring alert a week. 2. Occurring every added week, a.k.a .“fortnightly.” In added words, “fortnightly” is a chat we allegation because we broke “biweekly.”
Other runners-up win our “You Gotta Play to Lose” Loser Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.” Atonement mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “No Childishness Left Behind” or “Magnum Dopus.” Aboriginal Offenders accept alone a evil-smelling tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their aboriginal ink). Borderline is Monday night, Oct. 30; after-effects appear Nov. 19 (online Nov. 16). See accepted challenge rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules. The banderole for this week’s after-effects is by Jon Gearhart; Jesse Frankovich wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. This challenge was appropriate by Jeff Shirley. Accompany the Style Invitational Devotees accumulation on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev. “Like” Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday; chase @StyleInvite on Twitter.
The Style Conversational The Empress’s account online column, appear backward Thursday afternoon, discusses anniversary new challenge and set of results. Analysis it out at wapo.st/conv1250.
And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .
MULTI-ASKING: ‘QUESTIONABLE JOURNALISM’ WINNERS FROM WEEK 1246
In Anniversary 1246, as we do about already a year, we arrive you to accept any book in The Post that anniversary (and this year we continued it to added publications), again address a catechism that the book ability acknowledgment (if it were, say, acclimated in a amusement contest).
4th place:
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College humor: Making fun of the iPhone 7 (video) | Philip Elmer ... | college humor iphone 7Sentence from The Post: Blasting will be done during the day and “very rarely” at night or on weekends. Catechism it could answer: How will the Purple Band architecture alter from the president’s use of Twitter? (Jesse Frankovich, Grand Ledge, Mich.)
3rd place:
A. Two bodies airing by, speaking Swedish.Q. What is a abiding assurance that my wife best the cine we are watching? (John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.)
2nd place
and the little cream assurance that about-face into annoying mittens:A. “We cannot accede every submission.” Q. Hey, Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan, why don’t you account how generally legislators apple-polish to the president? (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)
And the champ of the Lose Cannon:
A. “I would say I don’t usually adulation red and browns together.”Q. What Donald Trump animadversion got the U.N. Security Council affair off to a abhorrent start? (Steve Honley, Washington)
No-thank Q: Atonement mentions
A. Sooner or later, Mueller is activity to accept to alpha bottomward shoes.Q: Is it aloof me or is this the lamest striptease you’ve anytime seen? (Todd DeLap, Fairfax, Va.)
A. The afterpiece was artlessly a array of abbreviate dresses exploding with feathers.Q: How did Chief of Staff Kelly alter the acceptable morning conference in adjustment to authority the president’s attention? (Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)
A: It’s agonizingly worn, as if breakable over millennia, yet it retains backbone and grace.Q: Why do you still accept that ratty bra? (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
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Parody Apple Ad For The iPhone 7 Hits The Nail On The Head - Digg | college humor iphone 7A. Prepare to accomplish lots of accompany in the advancing days.Q. Now that you’ve won the Powerball jackpot, what are you activity to do? (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)
A. We’re activity to acquisition out absolutely bound breadth the bar is.Q. What’s the aboriginal affair that new association of Topeka say? (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)
A. “It’s like attractive at the sun.”Q. What did the admiral say afterwards examination the eclipse? (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
A. Anniversary adamantine analysis drew a aggregate “ooh” or “aah.”Q. What was the acknowledgment amid Republican assembly back the Koch brothers visited Capitol Hill? (Mark Raffman)
A. A year later, they confused into a 300-square-foot flat in Manhattan.Q. Back did the Joneses apprehend they’d fabricated it into the 1 percent? (Mary Kappus, Washington)
A. There is not $1 abundance of federal money available.Q. Why did several Cabinet associates afresh change their vacation plans? (Jesse Frankovich)
A. “What is your consequence of Admiral Xi Jinping?”Q. What catechism strikes alarm in the hearts of Chinese comedians? (Steve Honley)
A. We do not tire. We do not booty ailing days. We do not unionize. We amount $7 an hour.Q. What curve did Admiral Trump add to the adjuration for new U.S. citizens? (John Hutchins)
A. If you don’t feel up to digging all that out, that’s reasonable.Q. What would be a affable but brash affair to say to your blight surgeon? (Duncan Stevens)
A. “That’s a accolade to how adamantine our guys are playing.”Q. Dean, what’s your acknowledgment to the accuse that your academy is a affair school? (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
A. The abbreviate acknowledgment is yes.Q. Do politicians generally accord long, circuitous responses to simple questions? (Duncan Stevens)
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Image Gallery iphone parody collegehumor | college humor iphone 7A. My achievement was it would allure that allotment of the citizenry that’s ambivalent.Q. Who on apple would accompany the Whatever Society for the Advancement of Apathy? (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)
A. Aloof go accessible on the poor body who anticipation they could fool you.Q. What admonition is a grammar pedant not acceptable to accept to? (Chris Doyle)
A. The aboriginal affair to accede is whether you appetite aloofness in that area.Q. What should you accumulate in apperception back affairs yoga pants? (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
A. They’re a must-order, abnormally afterwards actuality dunked in the restaurant’s hardly candied ponzu citrus soy sauce.Q. Why does that new sushi abode allegation diners for towels? (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)
A. The models emerged cutting astronomic cloister dresses with panniers and hoops.Q. How did the Miss USA contestants bouncer adjoin exceptionable advances? (John Hutchins)
A. “He ability get ran over a little bit.”Q. What ability appear to a guy who’s texting as he walks in advanced of the hay wagon? (Beverley Sharp)
A. Press the axis end, and if it’s bendable to the touch, it’s ripe.” Q. I’m afflicted with our new applicant, sir, but I’m not abiding if she’s absolutely accessible for the job. What do you think?” (William Kennard, Arlington, Va.)
A. The accumulating wasn’t hasty or adorable or alike berserk bewildering.Q. Why don’t hipsters anytime aftermost added than a day or two as garbagemen? (Brendan Beary)
A. You acquisition it in you because that’s what you active up for.Q. How did you aback end up with a chip implant afterwards afterlight your iPhone? (Kevin Dopart)
A. Whatever the absolute cardinal is, we apperceive it’s in the trillions. Q. How abounding hours did Losers decay account accessories for this contest? (Jesse Frankovich)
More atonement mentions in the online Invite at wapo.st/invite1250.
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HILARIOUS IPHONE 7 SPOOF | TIM COOK PARODY | IPHONE 7 LAUNCH - YouTube | college humor iphone 7Still active — borderline Monday, Oct. 23: our Ask Backwards contest. See wapo.st/invite1249.
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Watch: Humorous iPhone 7 Parody Video Says It's 'Just Worse ... | college humor iphone 7["600"]
Watch: Humorous iPhone 7 Parody Video Says It's 'Just Worse ... | college humor iphone 7["480"]
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iPhone 7 Parody! - YouTube | college humor iphone 7