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(Click actuality to skip bottomward to the acceptable reinterpretations of cine titles.)
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I’m beholden that dogs don’t apperceive anybody abroad hates you. (Dave Prevar)
. . . that they don’t acquiesce alien controls at the cine theater. (Art Grinath)
. . . that Uncle Billy assuredly croaked and I get a adventitious to sit at the big table. (Rich Carlson)
Four weeks from now, it’s activity to be Thanksgiving weekend, and — whuh-oh, accept they alpha activity about the anniversary table allurement what everyone’s beholden for: Yikes, accept you didn’t accept some snarkily inappropriate acknowledgment to aqueduct up? No worries — we’re actuality to help, as we did aback in 2006.
This week: Acquaint us article to be beholden for, as in the examples aloft from Week 685. You may aspect your acknowledgment humorously to addition else.
Submit entries at this website: wapo.st/enter-invite-1251 (all lowercase).
Winner gets the Lose Cannon, our new Style Invitational trophy. Second abode receives, aloof in time to be a few canicule too backward for Thanksgiving, a actual accomplished costly roast-turkey hat complete with little toque-thingies aloft the drumsticks. It’s modeled actuality by Matt Zampella, son of Loser Hildy, who volunteered to affectation cutting this affair in the average of a restaurant during a contempo Loser brunch. Donated by Nan Reiner.
Other runners-up win our “You Gotta Play to Lose” Loser Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.” Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “No Childishness Left Behind” or “Magnum Dopus.” Aboriginal Offenders accept alone a evil-smelling tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their aboriginal ink). Borderline is Monday night, Nov. 6; after-effects appear Nov. 26 (online on Wednesday, Nov. 22, the day afore Thanksgiving). See accepted challenge rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules. “Film quips” in the banderole for this week’s after-effects is by Chris Doyle; Chris additionally wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the Style Invitational Devotees accumulation on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev. “Like” Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday; chase @StyleInvite on Twitter.
The Style Conversational The Empress’s account online column, appear backward Thursday afternoon, discusses anniversary new challenge and set of results. Check it out at wapo.st/conv1251.
And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .
FILM QUIPS: REIMAGINED MOVIE PLOTS FROM WEEK 1247
In Week 1247 we asked you to reinterpret a cine appellation with a band from your “script.” Number of fart jokes submitted about a reimagined “Gone With the Wind”: 30.
4th place:
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12 Years a Slave: “No, Olivia, I don’t anticipate it’s arbitrary that I apprehend you to advice with the dishes and accumulate your allowance clean.” (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.)
3rd place:
The Pelican Brief: “And the accessory on our architecture will be so abundant roomier than Fruit of the Looms. We’ll accomplish a fortune!” (Larry Gray, Union Bridge, Md.)
2nd place
and the book “Who Farted”:Notting Hill: “We will not fix bloom care. We will not fix immigration. We will not fix infrastructure. We will not fix taxes . . . ” (Jesse Frankovich, Grand Ledge, Mich.)
And the champ of the Lose Cannon:
A Man Called Horse: “No, Mr. President, that is alone bisected of what they alarm you.” (Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)
Snubplots: Honorable mentions
Three Canicule of the Condor: “More assortment of this stuff? Why can’t Mom baker turkey for Thanksgiving like anybody else?” (Elden Carnahan, Laurel, Md.; Mark Richardson, Takoma Park, Md.)
Boyz N the Hood: “Grand Wizard Duke, sir? I anticipate we could augment our address to, uh, beneath rural guys by calling ourselves article a little added hip. I accept a advancement . . . ” (Danielle Nowlin)
The Thin Red Line: “Confirming the suspicions of abounding riders, we accept apparent that portions of the Metro were congenital out of tinfoil.” (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)
Full Metal Jacket: “Now that one absolutely apparel you, Mr. 3PO.” (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
In the Heat of the Night: “When your air conditioning goes out, alarm me: Mr. Tibbs.” (Howard Walderman, Columbia, Md.)
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For Your Eyes Only: “You know, you absolutely shouldn’t alcohol Visine.” (Jesse Frankovich)
The Shawshank Redemption: “I’m activity to the pawnshop to get my shawshank back.” (Gary Crockett)
Stand and Deliver: “She’s in labor! How can this hospital accept no abandoned beds?” (Mark Prysant, Silver Spring, Md.)
The Cider Abode Rules: “Man oh man, this is one alarming cider house.” (Duncan Stevens)
The 39 Steps: “Where’s that brainless hex wrench? Sheez, I don’t anticipate we’ll anytime get this bookshelf calm . . .”(Larry Gray)
The 400 Blows: “Sure, the Model 300 is underwhelming, but if you anticipate the 300 sucks, accept me . . .” (Frank Mullen III, Aledo, Ill.)
Apocalypse Now: “But Mr. President, don’t you anticipate we should advise with the Joint Chiefs of Staff first?” (Danielle Nowlin)
Around the World in 80 Days: “Mr. Fogg, United has the best accoutrements arrangement in the industry. I agreement your bag will be alternate actual soon.” (Jonathan Hardis, Gaithersburg, Md.)
Bridge of Spies: “You see, the microphone accessory fits appropriate actuality central the dental actual . . .” (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
Captain Phillips: “Lieutenant Flathead, it looks like we’re absolutely busted — unless the Captain turns up in time.” (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
Chain Reaction: “He told me it was 14-karat, but look! It angry my close green!” (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
Clueless: “Well, I don’t know, was it Professor Plum in the amphitheater with the candlestick? You acquaint me — I’m aloof the caterer.” (Colin Schatz, Oakland, Calif.)
Free Willy: “In sports news, we accept to pixelate the after-effects of the men’s chase in Slovakia . . .” (Brendan Beary, Abundant Mills, Md.)
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Hidden Figures: “Do you absolutely anticipate you’ll accept any success affairs burqas in Beverly Hills?” (Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.)
Hidden Figures: “I appetite to apperceive why all the bodies in that yuge commencement army didn’t appearance up in the photos!” (Nancy Della Rovere, Silver Spring, Md.)
How to Train Your Dragon: “Well, it’ll depend on what works for you. For me, cerebration of baseball does the trick, admitting in an emergency you could anticipate of Grandma in her swimsuit.” (Danielle Nowlin)
Invasion of the Body Snatchers: “I’m sorry, sir, but the bathrobe allowance is for celebration contestants only.” (Dave Matuskey, Sacramento)
Love Actually: “Is it ‘15-zero’ or ‘15-oh’?” (Jesse Frankovich)
Mrs. Doubtfire: “Get real, Oog. You no apprehend me accept you accomplish bonfire with two sticks.” (Jesse Frankovich)
No Strings Attached: “If you airing out that door, Pinocchio, you are on your own!” (John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach, Del.)
Strangers on a Train: “Watch it, you guys, you’re continuing on my conjugal gown!” (John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.)
The NeverEnding Story: “Sure, why not booty addition able at Repeal and Replace?” (Bill Dorner, Indianapolis)
The Thing: “Grandson, could you accompany me over that . . . accoutrement . . .” (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)
There Will Be Blood: “It’s aloof a debris disposal, Sharon, how adamantine could it be to fix?” (Danny Wysong, Crozet, Va.)
Wall-E: “And in the accident that the Mexicans accomplish it accomplished my aboriginal four great, abundant walls . . .” (James Kruger, New York)
Must Love Dogs: “No way! I’ll do nudity, but I am not accomplishing a arena like that!” (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)
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The Quiet Man: “ .” (Larry Gray)
Still active — borderline Monday night, Oct. 30: our challenge for balladry application words that were new in a assertive year. See wapo.st/invite1250.
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