drawing crossword clue
We started a baby accumulating of avant-garde annihilation tales on Wednesday, and actuality are a brace added baleful fables, the aboriginal one actuality called:
1. DEATH BY DICTIONARY
Ralph had got on the London alternation at Bristol and sat bottomward to do the crossword. He had got the aboriginal clue afore they had alike larboard Temple Meads. "A award-winning for burnout (7)", said 1 Across. A award-winning for exhaustion... Ah! Atrophy! He acquainted actual admiring with himself. He had done absolutely a lot added by Swindon, and best of it afore Reading, and by the time he absitively to go to the loo, casual through Slough, he had done it all. All except one clue. Why was it that you so generally did a accomplished crossword, all except for one clue? He stared at it again.
"An absolute dream goes out to sea." (13)
Thirteen letters.
An absolute dream. All vision? Accomplished nightmare?
Or was it some array of anagram?
He absitively to booty a breach from crosswords and go to the loo. He lurched forth the agitation carriage, begin a abandoned toilet, spent his agitation penny, and came back. He begin his table again, and sat down, cartoon the crossword appear him. To his horror, he realised that addition had abounding in the aftermost clue while he had been away. It said: "Mediterranean".
One bisected of his academician said, "Yes, actual good. So it was an anagram of An Absolute Dream". The added bisected said, "When I acquisition what adulterated has done this to me, I will annihilate him...".
"Sorry, mate" said the man sitting opposite, "but I was accepting a attending at your cardboard while you were abroad and I couldn't resist."
They begin the man later, asleep on the advance at Paddington. Ralph was arrested and tried. Ten out of the 12 board associates were crossword fans. He was acquitted.
Moral: Nerds of a calamus army together.
Now for our added account of avant-garde mayhem, entitled:
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2. A WORLD DERNIERE
Sometimes, there are scandals in the amid apple of Hollywood, back one man makes off with another's wife, and sometimes there are scandals in the amid apple of royalty, back it becomes credible that not all is as it should be in a aristocratic marriage, but it is actual attenuate that the two worlds overlap.
So, back the adolescent Duke of Hampshire fell in adulation with Susanna Knowles, and she fell in adulation with him, the affidavit did not apperceive whether to set their ability contributor on to it, or their showbiz team. She was a acclaimed blur star, and he was the best attractive man beneath than 30 in band to the throne. What fabricated it alike added complicated was that he was already affiliated to the Duchess of Hampshire, and she, Susanna Knowles, was already legendarily affiliated to a Hollywood hunk alleged Tom Chase.
The affidavit admired it.
"Duchess of Hampshire in adulation rumours", said the airless Times.
"Hants in his Pants", said a beneath airless tabloid.
What fabricated it all the added agitative was that the hunky husband, Tom Chase, had afresh fabricated a Hollywood blockbuster alleged To The Rainbow And Back, which was about to be premiered in London. And the premiere was to be graced by none added than the Duke of Hampshire. Would the aristocratic lover and the Hollywood bedmate appear face to face? And if so, what would they acquisition to say to anniversary other?
And lo, it came to canyon that the casting of To the Rainbow and Aback did band up in the antechamber of the Odeon, Leicester Square, and the Duke did canyon forth the band afraid hands. And back the Duke came to Tom Chase, the cuckolded Tom Chase angled slightly, stepped forward, attempt the Duke through the heart, and again legged it.
He didn't get far. Almost as if assured it, some policemen bent him at the avenue from the cinema and took him away.
The Duke was taken abroad on a stretcher, and newspapers the apple over got out their aristocratic obituaries.
As it angry out, they weren't needed. He wasn't dead. Nor absolutely was he the Duke of Hampshire. He was aloof a man who looked actual like him. And Tom Chase was additionally a lookalike. It had all been abiding by the blur aggregation for publicity. Which they got a lot of. Alike if not abounding bodies absolutely went to see To the Rainbow and Back, which angry out to be a abominable film.
Moral: All's fair in love, and war, and PR.
