Mountain Bike Trailer Park is a approved cavalcade accounting by Uncle Dan that appears account on the Dirt Rag Interwebs. He dabbles in a array of capacity including racing, training, trails he loves and not demography himself too seriously, all with a big birr of humor. If you absent his antecedent columns, check them out here. He additionally writes a claimed blog, which can be found here.
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They say that we apprentice added from our failures than our successes. If that’s true, again I should be an able at abundance bike racing. Or at atomic an able at declining at abundance bike racing.
The abstruse to success at declining can be aloft bottomward to bristles axial principles. To allegorize these principles, I action a case abstraction of my best contempo chase – the Marji Gesick 50 (57) in Marquette, Michigan.
Without added ado, let’s dive beeline in.
Three weeks afore the race, cut bottomward on sleeping and training.
Failure doesn’t aloof happen, you accept to plan for it! My plan starts three weeks afore chase day. I alarm this aeon the “failure taper.”
Just abdicate training. You can ride some, if you want, aloof accomplish abiding that it is absolutely baggy and that anniversary ride is either too adamantine or too easy.
And as continued as you’re not training, try to acquisition a acceptable alternation on Netflix to affair watch. Go advanced and break up too backward every night watching every episode. And aback you deathwatch up on the couch at 2:30 am, with a chest covered in potato dent crumbs, and Netflix asks “Are you still watching?” rub the beddy-bye out of your eyes and acknowledgment “yes.” “Yes I am.”
Beer is your friend.
Drink a six backpack the night afore a race. It doesn’t amount what affectionate of beer, but cans are preferable. They backpack easier.
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My bounded go-to is North High Pale Ale, but, actuality in Michigan, I had to sample the bounded offerings – so abounding acceptable breweries in Michigan!
For continued races, it’s important that you hydrate. And carb load. Beer has baptize and carbs. Seems like a compound for success, right?
Wrong! That abundant beer will absolutely advice you accommodated your abortion goals by pre-dehydrating you. So, beneath to anguish about not bubbler on chase morning!
And bethink to accumulate dehydrating during the race. Backpack a beer in your bead bag to booze it mid-race. Should be nice and balmy by then.
Plus, beer has added performance-diminishing qualities. Booze messes up your metabolic arrangement during exercise. It armament your kidneys into ambidextrous with the booze afore processing annihilation else. Double whammy!
And you ability as able-bodied additionally backpack a two-day old gas base chalupa in your bead bag too. Because, you know, it will aftertaste acceptable with the beer. Unrefrigerated gas base roller aliment will absolutely advice you accommodated your gastrointestinal goals of not affair your diet needs during the race.
Do not analysis your bike or accessories afore the race.
Don’t analysis your tires, bless your chain, or air up the suspension. You rode recently, right? It’s apparently fine.
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Also, don’t apple-pie your camelback. In fact, don’t alike abandoned it from the aftermost race. It’s apparently fine.
That adorned action booze mix you use is expensive. So, if you accept some extra from your aftermost ride, aloof bandy that half-full float in the freezer aback you get home. Doesn’t amount that it’s been on your aback and in a hot car all day. That will apparently be fine.
Defrost it at atomic 48 hours in beforehand of the race, and put it aback in your hot car for the two-day cruise to the race. On chase day, aloof bandy some added crumb in the float and top off with water, finer warm, and from the auberge bathtub. Apparently fine!
I approved this compound on the Marji Gesick. It produced a nice, brewed accumulation of activity booze that had hints of vanilla, cucumber, and acerb dupe milk.
It will be drinkable, if you don’t apperception gagging and abdomen pain. Since you accept 21 afar in boiling 80 amount weather, and annihilation to drink, you should be able to alpha airtight able-bodied afore your competitors! You’ve now entered the pre-bonk!
Don’t accept to the chase directors. It’s apparently aloof hype!
The Marji Gesick is, by design, a chase for masochists. I should accept accepted by all the business about the race. And the 50-70% bead rate. And the pre-race apprenticeship email which was blue-blooded “you poor bastards.” Oh, and I absolutely should accept taken apprehension aback the Grim Reaper showed up to alpha the race.
In fact, the chase is so boxy that the adage is “Blame Danny, Blame Todd” (the advance artist and chase director). On the course, whenever you saw a assurance stapled to a timberline that said “Blame Danny,” you could be abiding there was some crazy bits advancing up fast.
But, go advanced and avoid all of this, Be assured that it’s aloof business hype. Like me, you will draft easy, alive that you accept already done four 100-mile contest this year. What’s addition 54? (The chase has 105 and 54 mile options. I chose the 54, because it would be “easier.”)
Now that you’ve underestimated the race, accomplish abiding you go out too hot. This is alone a 54-mile race, right? So, you should be able to advance waaaaaay harder for the aboriginal 40 afar than you commonly would on a best race.
It’s absolutely a three-step process: (1) go out too fast; (2) apathetic down; and again (3) draft up absolutely and bendable pedal/walk the remainder. On the Marji Gesick, I followed these steps. I accomplished the aboriginal 20 afar in 2:35, the abutting 20 in 3:40, and the final 16 in 4:24. Perfect!
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(It didn’t advice that I had bet my 16-year-old assistant Mikey $10 that he couldn’t exhausted me. He acclimated my $10 to buy coney dogs and fries)
When you’re suffering, don’t abdicate the race. Never abdicate the race.
If you chase accomplish one through four above, you should ache a crack, aka bonk, aka draft up. The crack, which I accept ahead accounting about, is a glycemic and/or hydration arrears that tells your anatomy to stop putting in accomplishment immediately, and sends your anima into a bottomward spiral.
If it’s bad enough, you may accept a headache, abdomen distress, dizziness, crying, and possibly alike canyon out.
Now, a lot of bodies would abdicate beneath these circumstances. They anticipate that it’s not safe to abide benumbed if you’re adversity addled spells or bawl uncontrollably. They’re apparently right.
Why accumulate blame yourself? There’s no bays or award-winning money cat-and-mouse for you at the finish, no bards will sing tales of your ballsy efforts. Frankly, no one but you (and maybe Todd) cares whether you accomplishment or not.
But, beneath my plan, you will not bead out. You will abide to suffer. Accept to all those bodies who will ride by and action affable encouragement. They’ll acquaint you to “just accumulate going.” And “pain is temporary, abandonment is forever.” Who cares that you ability canyon out? The important affair is that you ache all the way to the end.
This chase is a killer. I can’t stop cerebration about it. Despite all my failings, I accomplished – which is added than bisected the starters can say. And, I alike affectionate of accomplished mid-pack.
In reflection, maybe I can alarm my abortion a success. But I still have, as Todd says, “unfinished business” on the course. I’ll be aback abutting year. And maybe I’ll skip a brace steps.
Got it? Good. Now, go alternating and fail!
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Be adventurous and accomplish at failing.
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